Bulimic?

Tonight I went out to Tea Zone with some of the kiddies from CYF. Espying a sign on the door that said "New! Sesame Chicken!" as I went in, I inquired about the "New!" dish at the register. The girl behind the counter responded plainly, "it's chicken." When pushed for a little more than that, "it's chicken, and it tastes like sesame" was all she could offer. Forcing her into a corner with the more specific "have you tried it, and is it good?" I was finally able to extract from her the information that it really would be worth my trying. Verdict: tasty!

While pulling teeth at the register, I also noticed a sign (in Chinese only) advertising 桂花奶茶 (osmanthus milk tea). Since 桂花乌龙 is in my top three favorite teas (usually coming in at number two, depending on quality and freshness), I thought it would make an excellent beverage compliment to my experiment in Tea Zone poultry dishes.

Both the tea and the chicken were enjoyable, but a sick feeling I later developed in my stomach told me that the chicken may not have been fully cooked. After not a little deliberation, I decided intentional vomiting would be the fastest, easiest way to avail myself and end the discomfort. "Plus," a little voice inside my head began, "that chicken and milk tea constituted a rather large snack, a 'second dinner' some might even call it. And do you know what a second dinner will do to you an hour or so before bedtime, lard-o?"

At this point the debate inside my teeming brain on whether or not to induce vomiting became considerably more complicated. On the one hand, my primary motivation for throwing up was to end the plate-tectonics going on in my GI tract, and to deny whatever evil microbes were in my gut from sending me home with a case of food poisoning that could enmiserate me for a couple more days. On the other hand, this second, dangerous line of thinking was now infecting my decision making. "Am I bulimic?" I wondered.

If I am not bulimic, my reasoning went, then I should definitely induce vomiting, since I feel nauseated; otherwise I could absorb some bacteria or virus into my bloodstream. If I am bulimic, I don't want to habituate to purging, or to justify it by saying I felt "sick..." Then gain, one episode of regurgitation isn't going to make or break me, so I should probably induce vomiting anyway to avert a case of Botulism or Salmonella. I can always sort out the complicated issues of skewed body image and unhealthy weight loss practices later.

Back and forth the debate raged, all the while my stomach demanding some form of relief. Nauseated to the point of insanity, I eventually resolved on emptying my stomach and investigating the status of my mental health afterwards. After notifying my sister what would soon transpire within earshot (and assuring her I was not bulimic, despite my own uncertainty over the matter), I stroked the back of my throat with my toothbrush until my vomit reflex kicked in.

Then it was time for the real work of begin: determining whether my comfort was purely physical, or if there were some psycho-emotional component to it brought on by the
sensation of cleansing myself of those extra, post-dinner calories.

Checking the DSM-IV online from the Cleveland Medical Clinic, I found that Bulimia Nervosa (disorder 307.51 in the Manual) is characterized by:

1. Recurrent episodes of binge eating. An episode of binge eating is characterized by both of the following:
(a) Eating, in a discrete period of time (e.g., within any 2-hour period), an amount of food that is definitely larger than most people would eat during a similar period of time and under similar circumstances;
(b) A sense of lack of control over eating during the episode (e.g., a feeling that one cannot stop eating or control what or how much one is eating);

2. Recurrent inappropriate compensatory behavior in order to prevent weight gain, such as self-induced vomiting; misuse of laxatives, diuretics, enemas or other medications; fasting or excessive exercise;

3. Binge eating and inappropriate compensatory behaviors both occurring, on average, at least twice a week for 3 months;

4. Self-evaluation unduly influenced by body shape and weight;

5. Disturbance not occurring exclusively during episodes of anorexia nervosa.

Whew! I certainly had not binged (cross out #1), and as far as my nutrient-deprived brain could recall, this was the first time I had intentionally made myself throw up in this three month period (cross out #2&3). Plus, my bulimic episodes occur only in conjunction with my anorexia nervosa, so we can eliminate criterion #5. Great!

I'd love to expound more upon my newfound elation at discovering that I'm not bulimic, but I've got a sudden, overwhelming craving for one of those 12x12 burgers, fries and a half-dozen milkshakes from In-N-Out, after which I'll need to re-purge, spend a few hours on the treadmill, followed by some time in the sauna sweating off all the extra water weight I'm carrying...