What I Need

"Everybody says they need just one thing, when what they really mean is they need just one thing more."

So say the lyrics of Rich Mullins' "One Thing," a song in which the singer/songwriter asserts his sole dependence on Jesus, and the dissatisfaction he finds in everything short of Him. In contrast to this view of the sufficiency of Christ, an extremely entertaining email arrived in my inbox this morning from Linda, via Christina. The letter instructs the recipient to go to www.google.co.uk and input his name, followed by the words "needs". For example, I would search for "JT needs." Here are some of the more diverting (if erronious) of my needs of which I was recently apprised:

"JT needs to slow down and keep his mouth shut."
"JT needs to spend a bit more time growing up."
"JT needs to get his ass kicked by hicks."
"JT needs to man up and get his balls back."
"JT needs places in the community where he is a 'regular'."

The task proved so fun, in fact, that I expanded my search to see what unknown necessities Alvin has been living without. Unlike mine, I found that many of suggestions for Alvin are actually befitting:

"Alvin needs more electricity to opporate."
"Alvin needs a family who will encourage him to do and be his very best, but most of all, who love him!" Poor Alvin, no wonder he always looks so distressed. [Actually, I think that one is from an adoption agency site.]
"Alvin needs to be fitted for an EBA--emergency breathing apparatus."

It was too fun to stop at Alvin, so I moved on to some of the other team members who will accompany us on our imminent trip to China:

"Peter desperately needs funds for a new attorney...Prison is a lonely place and Peter needs your support."
"The little boy Danny needs to remember that his parents loved him, that it's okay to be sad, to miss them, to be angry that they aren't here."

China team members aren't the only ones in need:
"Eddie needs Phil's friendship because it makes Eddie feel always superior." [If you know Eddie and Phil, commentary here is entirely superfluous.]
"Eddie needs to provide the ability to do standard editing functions, like CUT COPY PASTE." "Pam needs a sperm donor."
"Pam needs to have fun."
Strangely, I didn't find any mention of Pam's need for Daniel.

"Daniel needs good, nourishing meals to go with the loving care we give him daily at the Abandoned Baby Center."
"Daniel needs time and understanding that he has many feelings of grief, loss, and abandonment."
"Daniel needs to fix his damaged face."
"Daniel needs to move his Episcopalian show from NBC to HBO if he wants to deliver his sermons to an audience that has grown fond of his world."
And though Daniel, at least according to Google, requires reconstructive cosmetic surgery and a shift from a major network to cable, he, apparently, does not need Pam, either.

"Linda needs to be a part of a loving, committed marriage."
"Linda needs to drop by home and pick up her Congo drum to be refaced."
"Linda needs some help with her appearance."
"Linda needs to be renovated, badly."
[Why are Linda's all so desperate?]

In my need-finding fervor, I cut and pasted many of these to Alvin, who apparently, was still smarting from the insinuation that his family is unloving; in his acrimony he replied, "Stop talking about our friends behind their backs."

So, please try this little experiment and see what it is that your life has been lacking. If you find anything that might be of general interest, post it as a comment to this entry.

One totally unexpected result of this experiment on the indispensible was that virtually every name I tried (and there were many more than the ones I selected for this column) needed prayer. Maybe Rich was right after all.