"Then the priests the Levites arose and blessed the people: and their voice was heard, and their prayer came up to his holy dwelling place, even unto heaven." 2 Chronicles 30:27
Act I: The Glory of Answered Prayer
"Why can't I date someone godly who looks like Takeshi Kaneshiro?" a female acquaintance bemoaned to me today via the communication miracle that is the internet. Then things took a turn toward desperation: "Can you tell me why? Why? WHY, OH LORD WHY?!?!"
"Do you know of any such person?" I replied.
"Do you think I'd still be single if I did?"
Ruminating on that thought, I recalled a certain "admiration" she has for a godly man we'll call "Elimelech" (in keeping with our theme). Sanctified though he may be, Elimelech is immensely cerebral--undoubtedly the most cerebral person I know. As you might expect, he is lanky, sometimes slovenly, and his complexion is...he would be the "before" person in a Noxzema commercial.
"You could just graft Takeshi's face onto Elimelech's cerebral body," I proffered helpfully.
"Yeah, but then I'd be stuck with Elimelech's cerebral body."
Seeing that the first plan had not resolved all her problems, I made a better proposal: "transfer Elimelech's mind and soul INTO Takeshi's body. The best of both worlds!" After a moment's consideration, I added, "Takeshi wakes up one day:"what the £*¢&?!? How did I get this cerebral body??? WHAT HAPPENED TO MY FACE?!??!"
Camera pans to my friend and Elimelech, rejoicing in the background: "Hallelujahah! Our prayers are ANSWERED!!"
Secret Jew of the Day: Elvis Presley! (maternal grandparent was Jewish)
Not-so-secret-Jewess of the Day: Barbara Streisand
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7 comments:
This was a great blog entry, jt. Colorful wording. Poor Takeshi. As far as Alvin, I wonder if he was talking about headphones on purpose to annoy you? Hmmm....
Hmm... I'm not sure that the (positive) answer to your friend's prayer would satisfy her. Beautiful, intelligent people tend to have messy internal issues. Also, her dream guy will be wrinkled and senile in three or four decades like everybody else. And finally, she presumes that Takeshi-Elimelech would not only be interested in having a relationship at all but that he'd be interested in her particularly. That said, I wish her happy searching and praying.
yeah, I agree with jay...but funny nonetheless.
Wow, I didn't about Elvis...i guess that's why he's categorized as "secret Jew".
I find something ironic about this particular post and its string of comments, don't you think, JT??????
HAHAHA. Perhaps our friend is aiming too high. Maybe she should lower her expectations and shoot for...in the words of Eddie...a "biped."
By the way, who is "Jay"? you're funny.
jay - are you who we think you are?
"Active" doesn't begin to describe your collective electronic lives as I see them. I posted this comment hours ago and JT's written an entry while Pam commented thrice... But here I am checking if anybody has responded to my comment.
Yes, pamguin, I'm probably who you think I am, but then again, we could both be completely wrong.
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